I am really on the fence about telling you of this place.
On the one hand, it’s my job, and a brutha has a mortgage.
On the other, I don’t want to put you through what I endured last year at the very aptly-named Heartstoppers Haunted House last year. It was my first-ever visit to a haunted house, and that dark, dank Friday night, about mid-way through, I vowed that if I survived it would be my last.
If you don’t believe me, check out this video, taken scant minutes after I’d escaped Heartstoppers Haunted House last October. I’d thrashed and yelled so much that I didn’t have a voice for the rest of the weekend. (Thankfully, no one in my group got any of that on video…I hope ROFL.)
Now, in my defense — IN MY DEFENSE — I had driven to Heartstoppers that evening believing that it featured animatronic ghouls and such. You know, like those featured at the iconic Haunted Mansion attraction at Disneyland. I didn’t know that Heartstoppers’ creatures were alive…or had been at some point.
And I’m claustrophobic, so Black JESUS that basement — I DIDN’T KNOW THERE WAS A BASEMENT, Y’ALL.
Heartstoppers Haunted House is back for its 12th season, opening at the Mineshaft property in Rancho Cordova October 4 and running through November 2 of Halloween weekend. There are two major haunts in the main building, upstairs, and in the caves and basement (Black JESUS that BASEMENT!). There are also two spooky outdoor haunts, just in case your heart can take a little more.